Pregnancy: The Comical Truth

I found out I was pregnant with our first baby the day before I turned 21.  My husband and I were thrilled.  I couldn't wait to poke out with a rotund, perfect basketball shaped belly.  By 20 weeks, my dreams became reality as we learned we were having the little boy I had always wanted.  Two weeks after we discovered we were expecting, we had already decided on names for both sexes.  Now, all we had to do was wait for our little angel to be born.

He came at exactly 41 weeks after 24+ hours of labor, and motherhood became one of my most sacred roles and treasured gifts (next to being a wife).  I fell in love with every feature of my little squish, every coo, sleepy yawn, and hilariously audible poop explosion.  Fast forward exactly nine months after giving birth, and my husband and I discovered we were unexpectedly expecting baby number 2; this time a girl. 

That's right.  Two kids in 2 years.  A second pregnancy after less than a year of recovery from my first.  Here are a few things I've learned.

1. Bellies.  When they say every pregnancy is different, they MEAN it.  My first pregnancy I couldn't wait to get out of the "fat" stage and actually look pregnant.  This pregnancy, I couldn't wait to get into the third trimester so that when people asked me how far along I was and I answered, I wouldn't stare into a shocked expression of "Are you sure your due date isn't tomorrow?".  I have been in a permanent state of "Oh, she popped," and "She's ready to go," for the last 4 months.  When you've "popped," you are supposed to be in a transient period of hugeness right before your baby arrives.  I have been in the gargantuan condition, MEGA POPPED, with an ever-increasing circumference for the last forever.   *Insert stretch mark city.*

2.  Fitness. Contrary to popular belief, chasing a toddler around while pregnant does not guarantee a physically fit pregnancy. However, it does mean that you will end the day even more exhausted, but at least you'll have enjoyed the company of a nonjudgmental snack buddy every time you paused to eat.  Additionally, being knocked up during the summer does not necessarily equate with being more active; because in the winter, it is much cooler and easier to move- or at least have the desire to move.

3.  Peeing.  While I have lucked out with minimal in the middle of the night pee disturbances, during the day my bladder shrinks to the size of a hummingbird's nest.  So please don't question my exaggerated leg crossing when it's time to sneeze, or wonder at my fear of coughing in public.

4.  Stooping, bending, crouching, sitting. . . all become more difficult.  As my husband put it, they really need to make the ground about 3 feet higher so I can reach it.

5. Pooping.  I just told my husband I would be gone for awhile, and it wasn't just so I could hide in the bathroom from our 2 year old lab and 16 month old son.  It's because pregnancy has wrecked my abs.  I never know when I'll be able to do some successful pushing, but. . . you know. . . in about 3 weeks I'm supposed to push a baby out no problem.  Come on women, it's natural.  Just like pooping is supposed to be.

6.  Clothes.  Just because you saved all of your maternity clothes from last time doesn't mean they will service you this go around.  We aren't all good enough planners to be pregnant the same time of year.  My winter maternity clothes fared rather useless with no air conditioning this summer.  Also, you most likely- unless blessed by a benevolent fairy godmother who took pity on your waistline- won't be the same size.  And if you are like me, you'll outgrow the new clothes you bought for this pregnancy about a month before your due date anyway.  It's easier to just get used to clothes not working.

7. Pickles.  My husband figured out I was pregnant the first time after I devoured an entire jar of pickles in 3 days.  This time he came home from deployment to find 3 open jars of pickles in the refrigerator containing around one pickle each.  He knew better than to say anything.

8.  Lightning crotch.  It's dubbed that for a reason.  I am almost 37 weeks into carrying my sweet baby girl, my innocent bundle of squishy.  But when they talk about heads dropping, they forget to mention tiny dragon fingers and armored elbows- cause this squishy has more sharp angles than Harry Potter's lightning scar.

9.  Sleeping.  Sleeping with a big ol' belly doesn't get any easier with practice.  It doesn't matter how many times you have been pregnant, it will always be difficult to fall asleep, and equally difficult to rock yourself upward in the morning. There are no tricks.

10.  Back pain.  Just because your back hurt and your hips expanded once already does not mean you have a free pass this time.  Your back will still hurt because 1. your belly is probably bigger than last time, 2. you now have another child to pick up, snuggle, and climb park equipment with, and 3. your hips still have to re-expand (even if this is your second year in a row of being pregnant).

Yet, while pregnancy can be daunting, exhausting, overwhelming, and completely life-altering, not all of the changes are for the worse.  Those stretch marks and extra pounds means you carried life inside you.  Your random cravings and hunger pains will be easier to bare when those sweet kicks remind you why you're having them.  And if you find yourself unexpectedly expecting another child, you'll have sweet, trusting, luscious baby eyes staring back at you with rosy cheeks waiting to be kissed that all say one transcending thing.

I'm worth it. 

Every.  Single.  Minute.

Toddlerhood: It's a Journey

Realizing I am now the mother of a toddler is both a challenging and amazing journey.

It comes on swiftly, stealing into our once baby filled moments with a new discovery, new sound, new motion. 

It leaves me either exasperated or smiling.  Shaking my head in laughter and shaking my head “No” with a slight grimace are both commonplace. 

I remember the months leading up to his first birthday.  He was crawling everywhere, playing with blocks and throwing toys, and he loved to pull himself up on everything.  His favorite past times included baths, food, and dismantling my perfectly folded pile of blankets or the thoughtfully arranged shelves of my bookcase.  He was smiling, laughing, reaching out to me, and learning to take a couple lazy steps while clutching my fingers.  And then his birthday came and he was overwhelmed with cake, presents, and my ever present camera.  I think it was here when I blinked.

Two weeks after his birthday during our Skype session with daddy he teetered and took his first steps, lunging forward to tap the keys on the laptop I had just denied him.  He had long been amazing me with eating whole bananas and whole containers of yogurt in one sitting, and now he was both surprising and confusing me with his first fit over not being allowed to have my coffee cup. 

Giggling in delight at being pushed in the park swing, making quick work of walking in his determination to keep up with the older kids at play, and stealing our puppy’s toys with a mischievous grin were signs displaying growth and discovery daily.

Now. . .

Now the bookshelf has been mastered (he’s pulled off everything within reach so many times that it no longer interests him), and I have finally gotten smart enough to put child locks on the lower kitchen cabinets so that tin foil, plastic wrap, and stray noodles are not creating a chef’s maze on the floor.

And, yet, surprises continue every day.  Saying “Hi Dada” to his favorite picture of daddy, squealing in displeasure and skipping away when our puppy attempts to reclaim his toys, to occasionally making my heart swell by saying "Momma" in his every day voice and not just the whine I am so familiar with.   Finally finding a movie to fall in love with, The Lion King, because animals are a favorite, and learning to feed his big fur brother treats in abundance.  Giving hugs to momma and stuffed animals, smiling at strangers, and now recently, resting his head on momma’s growing belly or pointing to other babies excitedly at the grocery store.

The Dada in the picture frame came to life a few weeks ago with his return, and our days have continued to be filled with so much learning.  Saying “Hi Dada” to the giant man above him, being carried around on daddy’s shoulders while he pats his head, to being thrown in the air and tickled with abandon. 

Sometimes these joyous moments melt into tantrums as the object wanted most does not make an appropriate toy, or because our puppy was finally successful in running off with his ball.   Suddenly we’ll look over to see a diaper sagging from being tugged at, or completely unhinged on one side.   We’ll fix the diaper and in the next moment he’ll be pointing to the living room door and running off to the kitchen for a snack of blueberries.

Toddlerhood sneaks into those moments of longer rest because he just played harder than he ever had before, and it shows itself in first time ER visits with a forehead creating the perfect canvas for green and blue swelling.  It shows itself in being braver at the pool and wanting to glide along the water while kicking his legs and smiling at being splashed in the face.

Toddlerhood becomes apparent in eating two whole slices from pizza hut greedily, learning to pet his fur brother gently, and becoming more and more vocal and opinionated about what’s wanted and what’s not.  It’s pointing down and attempting to command our puppy to “sssiiittt” with a high pitched ending, and giving high fives when the idea suits him.  It’s helping mommy unload the dishwasher by handing her forks and spoons while she hastily gets the knives out of reach.  It’s pulling recyclables out of the kitchen bins and pointing to bananas with earnest desire every time he sees them. 

Toddlerhood is so closely aligned to living with the minions from Despicable Me that every day is an exhausting comedy.

And the learning isn’t one sided.  It’s a desperate mother deciding that showering together is easier, that co-sleeping doesn’t have to be taboo, and that nursing past one is sometimes what’s best for her and her child.  It’s snapping a thousand pictures of a thousand moments, and finally understanding why Mary tucked so many moments of Jesus safely away in her heart. 

It’s falling in love more everyday while breathing deeply at the end of the day because momma managed to not lose her sanity.  

Toddlerhood is a mother’s plea for strength and patience, and a quick thank you when Jesus kept her baby safe in the chaos of life.

And just when you think you have completely crossed the threshold of toddlerhood, that baby of yours reveals himself in a chubby dimpled smile or cry for extra snuggles.  Your baby comes back in that all enveloping yawn and rub of the eyes, or that adorable squeal of baby language only they understand.

So keep holding on to those moments during your journey because new moments will come swiftly. 

That little tot will be reading his first book and no longer taking naps.  He’ll be riding a bike and sleeping in his own room.

Take the time to be amazed by it all.

Love,

Rachel