Creating Days to be Missed in our Homes

I miss the days of simplicity and childhood play.  I miss the days where my greatest concern was how mine and my sister’s ginormous Barbie house would sprawl out, and who would be the lucky one to get the “cute” guy Barbie (we pretty much never named him Ken).  I miss the days where the little mommies growing in our hearts would pick out our children, and plan out grand mischievous adventures with Barbie toddlers and babies.

 I miss the days of my youth; where I would spend afternoons reading Apologia Biology while snuggling my cat on the couch in my pajamas.  (Perks of being home-schooled.)  I miss late nights chatting with my mom, and waking up late and grumpy until we got that first swig of coffee.  I miss my father’s proud cheers urging me on as I stood to serve in a varsity volleyball tournament, and the endless hours he spent sweating in the front lawn helping me hone my skills.

And though I do not miss the heartache and feeling of my world fragmenting like shredded paper, I will never forget the days of discovery.  The days where my sister displayed some of the greatest tenderness I have ever known; always up for the task of making me laugh, or escaping reality for a loud off-key mockery of popular music in the car as we drove for coffee, food, and Target.  I’ll always treasure the days I learned how beautiful and loving her heart really is.

I'll always treasure those first days when my husband and I had just met.  All of those long walks around the neighborhood, cliché sappy good morning texts, and my periodic nervous giggling when he asked questions about the future.  I miss the first time we held hands as we explored Fox Island nature park, the first time he cooked me dinner, the first time we said, “I love you,” with quiet voices and tender conviction.

I miss the days when our lives truly began together.  When our marriage settled in and we started arranging furniture and creating our home.  I'll miss those awkward firsts of living in a foreign country, and trying to say hello and goodbye informally in German.  Days filled with, “What do you want for dinner?” and “I asked you first.”  I’ll always smile thinking of time spent memorizing Ethan’s rock-paper-scissors pattern so that I would win and he’d have to take the dog out.  (I don’t miss when he quit playing though. . .)

And then the day before my birthday when we found out we were expecting our first child.  I’ll always cherish the first moment I felt him kick, the look on my husband’s face as coached me through labor, and the teary eyed journey into motherhood as I gazed at my son for the first time.

Now that Aiden is ten months old and crawling everywhere, pulling himself up with ease, and disheveling everything, I miss quiet afternoons spent nursing a cuddly newborn.  I miss anxiously awaiting a smile, and the soft expression that always graced Ethan’s face when Aiden fell asleep with his head resting against his father’s chest.

Now that my husband is deployed, I miss the afternoons I took for granted when we snuggled the day away binge watching Criminal Minds.  I smile reminiscing over Saturday’s indulgence of unhealthy but delicious chicken nuggets and French fries that Ethan spent hours preparing and frying without complaint.  I miss watching him twirl our laughing son in the air, even though it occasionally spiked my nerves into mini heart attacks.

And now that we’re expecting our second child, I worry over whether I am ready to be a mom of two.  I struggle already with keeping up on household chores and taking care of our hyper lab, Loki.  And while some days are spent playing outside and splashing water in the bathtub, other days I wonder if I’m doing a good enough job.  I know God will grow my heart, but it’s hard trusting Him to grow my abilities.

It’s easy to remember “the good old days,” stress about the present, worry over the future, and not fully appreciate the now; and it’s often much harder trudging through mundane days with a smile.  And, yes, many have written over the importance of taking time to enjoy the present, but we need to take it a step further.  It’s not just about our own mentality and happiness.

If we don’t choose to seek joy during the daily grind, to find some small kernel of contentment, to brave a smile when we just want to go back to bed- then how will our children ever be able to look back and miss these days?  Don’t wish for the past so tightly or focus on worries months in advance so completely that you forget to create an environment of play, of learning, of support, of friendship, of laughter, of love.

It will be hard some days, and some days we will both fail.  It’s our responsibility to create a safe place for our kids to flourish, but it’s also up to us to create memories with them that are worth keeping.

I hope as my son grows older and reflects on his childhood, he can look back and say, “I miss those days.” I hope that my unborn child will have a plethora of fond memories to reminisce over as an adult.  I pray that the Lord will mold my husband and I to be parents of patience, kindness, humility, humor, and love; and that through His sweet grace, our home will become a happy place of memory and laughter.  A place to be missed.

What things do you do intentionally to reap fond memories for your kids?

What activities are you planning to create “firsts” for your children?

What areas can you improve in while creating your beloved home?

 “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stays awake in vain.  It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.  Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Psalm 127:1-3 (ESV)

Lord, please help us build our homes.

Love,

Rachel

Mom Life: When Your Baby Is A Great Teacher

Taken From TobyMac's Facebook page. 

Last week I thought I would be a cool mom and take my son Aiden on his first intentional play date with other babies near his age or younger (he's 9 months).  He had received shots earlier in the week at his well visit appointment, and the doctor had warned me that he would have a weaker immune system; but it had been a couple of days by the time the play date rolled around, so I thought he was fine.  All thoughts of a weaker immune system, and babies sharing toys and slobber (. . .my kid was the supreme saliva contributor), left my mind.  I was going to get out of the house and hang out with other mommas.  Aiden was going to play with other kids.  (Truthfully, other than a fleeting curious glance, babies are much more interested in their environment and the toys around them than each other.)

Well, that night thoughts of a weaker immune system came back to mind as Aiden fussed and cried every time he woke up, and each time he continued to sound more and more congested.  By the next day, he was rosy cheeked with a constant drip running down his nose and into the drool leaking out of the corners of his mouth.  I tried to wipe his face and clean his nose out regularly, but I do not think I managed it frequently enough.  He recently learned how to shake his head back and forth like we do when saying "no," and I initially thought it was adorable.  I have since learned it's less cute when I am trying to suck out his nose without poking his eye. . . 

 After feeling bad for him and realizing a minor cold like congestion is truly awful for babies, I was in for a bit of a shock when midnight arrived.  Aiden's breathing became very thick and fuzzy. Imagine the voice of Christian Bale playing batman and you'll get a good idea of what I mean.  He kept looking at me as he breathed in and out.  His eyes held a similar confusion as the time he got his first bout of hiccups.  We were still in the hospital and he was only two days old.  He looked so perplexed. This time when he looked at me it felt like he was expecting me to fix it.  And I wasn't sure how. 

I rubbed an all natural ointment for babies on his chest to try and break up the mucus.  (Let me just say right now that Vicks VapoRub is awesome for adults and older children, but should never be applied on babies.  It can have serious negative affects, and everyone should read the warning and instruction labels on the back to use items of medicinal property safely.)  After putting him in a steamy shower with me for a few minutes and then opening a window for the cold air to hit him, he improved a little and we were both able to sleep.  Then 2:30 rolled around and his breathing was sounding even more labored.  I called my mom and asked for advice, and then fell asleep with him on my chest on our couch downstairs.  I wanted to feel him breathing, hear his breathing, and know that he was still breathing.  There was no way I was putting him in his crib.

At 7;30 his breathing became more laborious than ever.  His little chest and tummy pulled in and out so sharply with every breath that I knew he was using all of his strength.  For my Anne of Green Gables lovers, at this point he sounded worse than Diana's little sister.  I was starting to get a bit panicky, and after two more phone calls to close a friend and his pediatric's appointment line, I rushed him to the ER. 

In the twenty minutes it took to get there, his breathing improved slightly due to the cold morning air.

The nurses and doctors were all extremely kind and helpful, and after a steroid shot in his thigh and a 15 minute breathing treatment hooked up to oxygen, we were able to go home.

I have since learned that humidifiers are amazing when babies are congested.  Moist air is easier for them to breathe.  And since I plugged in our essential oil diffuser (works the same as a humidifier), he has yet to have another episode.  Also, 15 minutes is needed to have the optimal affect when using steam from a shower; so I have just been bringing him in the bathroom with me every night while I take a long luxurious and hot shower- guilt free.  I think about the same time frame goes for the cold, though the doctor warned me their breathing can go right back to the way it was after bringing them inside.  (Disclaimer, I am sharing all of this from personal experience, and am not a doctor or medically trained.  Please take all of this information as a momma sharing what worked for her.)

Two days have passed since our ER visit, and my precious baby has been breathing croup free. Though he is still battling a viral respiratory infection and my attempts to alleviate it, his breathing has been normal.  I am so thankful and full of praise that he is recovering quickly.

Babies are resilient.  He has remained his inquisitive self through all of this; never hesitating to crawl toward the pile of folded blankets in the corner so that he may dismantle momma's limited organization in a twisted pile on the floor.  He continues to flirt, smiling and waving and laughing over the smallest things.  Books remain a steadfast favorite of his, and sadly through his exploration and ability to pull himself up he has found there are other books than the ones I give to him.  And the toilet paper I left on the coffee table because I am now congested as well serves as a wonderful opportunity of play and destruction. 

Witnessing him recover has served as an invaluable lesson for me.  It hit me that if I were as willing to move on and choose joy as my ill child does- if I were as resilient as him- my life would be a whole lot better and a whole lot brighter.

"A joyful heart is good medicine,

But a broken spirit dries up the bones."

Proverbs 17:22 NASB

I have with complete awareness let my mental state decline this past week, particularly today.  I have let myself wallow in my emotional and physical exhaustion from worrying and being up most of the night Sunday, from caring for Aiden and now fighting my own respiratory infection, and have used every excuse and reason available to me to justify having multiple Netflix days.  I have moped over missing daddy who is on an extended work trip, and I have chosen to not focus on the joys in my life.

And yes, some days, allowing yourself to rest is the best thing a momma can do. Some days snuggles are really what is most needed anyway.  And there is nothing wrong with missing your spouse or enjoying the occasional Netflix day.  But there comes a time when you need to move forward and stop intentionally dwelling and focusing on the exhaustion.  I am realizing it is equally as important to don a refreshed and positive attitude as it is important to physically rest- otherwise the feeling of needing to rest never ends.

"A time to weep and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn and a time to dance."

Proverbs 3:4 NASB

So here's to my kid, for teaching me to always crawl toward those things that bring joy, to smile despite feeling weak and tired, and to wave with enthusiasm and excitement at everything life has to offer.  I praise the Lord for the healing and strength He lends, and I am so thankful that the biggest blessings and teachers come in small slobbery little packages.  I am also thankful that it doesn't appear that Aiden got anyone else sick other than me, and I am hopeful that our next play date will have a more successful ending.

In the meantime, thank you Aiden for being one of my greatest gifts.  I wouldn't trade the responsibility, challenge, frustration, joy, excitement, wonder, lesson, and blessing that is being your momma for anything.  May you continue to teach me as you inspire and amaze me every day.

What are you're babies and precious children teaching you?

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, 'Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?'  And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, 'Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me."

Matthew 18:1-5 NASB

"And they were bringing children to Him so that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked them.  But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, 'Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.'  And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands on them"

Mark 10:13-16 NASB