Thursday, February 16, 2017

Creating Days to be Missed in our Homes



I miss the days of simplicity and childhood play.  I miss the days where my greatest concern was how mine and my sister’s ginormous Barbie house would sprawl out, and who would be the lucky one to get the “cute” guy Barbie (we pretty much never named him Ken).  I miss the days where the little mommies growing in our hearts would pick out our children, and plan out grand mischievous adventures with Barbie toddlers and babies.

 I miss the days of my youth; where I would spend afternoons reading Apologia Biology while snuggling my cat on the couch in my pajamas.  (Perks of being home-schooled.)  I miss late nights chatting with my mom, and waking up late and grumpy until we got that first swig of coffee.  I miss my father’s proud cheers urging me on as I stood to serve in a varsity volleyball tournament, and the endless hours he spent sweating in the front lawn helping me hone my skills.

And though I do not miss the heartache and feeling of my world fragmenting like shredded paper, I will never forget the days of discovery.  The days where my sister displayed some of the greatest tenderness I have ever known; always up for the task of making me laugh, or escaping reality for a loud off-key mockery of popular music in the car as we drove for coffee, food, and Target.  I’ll always treasure the days I learned how beautiful and loving her heart really is.

I'll always treasure those first days when my husband and I had just met.  All of those long walks around the neighborhood, cliché sappy good morning texts, and my periodic nervous giggling when he asked questions about the future.  I miss the first time we held hands as we explored Fox Island nature park, the first time he cooked me dinner, the first time we said, “I love you,” with quiet voices and tender conviction.

I miss the days when our lives truly began together.  When our marriage settled in and we started arranging furniture and creating our home.  I'll miss those awkward firsts of living in a foreign country, and trying to say hello and goodbye informally in German.  Days filled with, “What do you want for dinner?” and “I asked you first.”  I’ll always smile thinking of time spent memorizing Ethan’s rock-paper-scissors pattern so that I would win and he’d have to take the dog out.  (I don’t miss when he quit playing though. . .)

And then the day before my birthday when we found out we were expecting our first child.  I’ll always cherish the first moment I felt him kick, the look on my husband’s face as coached me through labor, and the teary eyed journey into motherhood as I gazed at my son for the first time.

Now that Aiden is ten months old and crawling everywhere, pulling himself up with ease, and disheveling everything, I miss quiet afternoons spent nursing a cuddly newborn.  I miss anxiously awaiting a smile, and the soft expression that always graced Ethan’s face when Aiden fell asleep with his head resting against his father’s chest.

Now that my husband is deployed, I miss the afternoons I took for granted when we snuggled the day away binge watching Criminal Minds.  I smile reminiscing over Saturday’s indulgence of unhealthy but delicious chicken nuggets and French fries that Ethan spent hours preparing and frying without complaint.  I miss watching him twirl our laughing son in the air, even though it occasionally spiked my nerves into mini heart attacks.

And now that we’re expecting our second child, I worry over whether I am ready to be a mom of two.  I struggle already with keeping up on household chores and taking care of our hyper lab, Loki.  And while some days are spent playing outside and splashing water in the bathtub, other days I wonder if I’m doing a good enough job.  I know God will grow my heart, but it’s hard trusting Him to grow my abilities.

It’s easy to remember “the good old days,” stress about the present, worry over the future, and not fully appreciate the now; and it’s often much harder trudging through mundane days with a smile.  And, yes, many have written over the importance of taking time to enjoy the present, but we need to take it a step further.  It’s not just about our own mentality and happiness.

If we don’t choose to seek joy during the daily grind, to find some small kernel of contentment, to brave a smile when we just want to go back to bed- then how will our children ever be able to look back and miss these days?  Don’t wish for the past so tightly or focus on worries months in advance so completely that you forget to create an environment of play, of learning, of support, of friendship, of laughter, of love.

It will be hard some days, and some days we will both fail.  It’s our responsibility to create a safe place for our kids to flourish, but it’s also up to us to create memories with them that are worth keeping.

I hope as my son grows older and reflects on his childhood, he can look back and say, “I miss those days.” I hope that my unborn child will have a plethora of fond memories to reminisce over as an adult.  I pray that the Lord will mold my husband and I to be parents of patience, kindness, humility, humor, and love; and that through His sweet grace, our home will become a happy place of memory and laughter.  A place to be missed.


What things do you do intentionally to reap fond memories for your kids?

What activities are you planning to create “firsts” for your children?

What areas can you improve in while creating your beloved home?


 “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stays awake in vain.  It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.  Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”
Psalm 127:1-3 (ESV)


Lord, please help us build our homes.


Love,



Rachel



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